Exposing Male Violence Against Lesbians

39. SJ 27/10/2021

This is rather a long list, but I know (sadly) I am not the only woman (or lesbian) to suffer sexual abuse at the hands of males.. 7-10 years old: Older boy who is left in charge of myself and his younger brother and sometimes another boy (my age), plays ‘sex games’ with us. He threatens us with ‘worse punishment’ if we tell any adult. 12 years old, held down and ‘fingered’ by an older boy in a public place where we used to play football. (He seems to know what to do and I think it is a regular thing.) 16 years old: The music teacher exposes himself to me in a private practice room and tells me to perform oral sex on him. I run away. I am blamed for ‘leading him on.’ (FFwd 40 years and he is now serving 40 years for buggery and rape of boys under 13 over a 40 year timeframe.) 20 years old. I am in the British Army and I am daily subjected to sexual harassment by my platoon commander, in open sight of my other male and female colleagues. No one does anything. I eventually leave the army. 34 years old (in Spain) I am speaking to a restaurant owner, (when it is closed) about holding my birthday party there. He shoves me up against the wall, sticks his tongue in my mouth and tries to get into my clothes. I push him away and leave. 35 years old (in Spain.) I sign up for a LESBIAN ONLY DATING SITE, I meet a woman in the local town, (she is British too.) For all purposes she is a female, having undergone surgery. She at least comes out and says she is Trans. (I sort of knew, but didn’t quite know what was going on.) We have an up and down friendship. I am freaked out that she is a lesbian and wants to penetrate other women with a strap on. Her life is complicated. We never really connect. I feel she is rather predatory and put the defences up. (She tells me she regrets the op and wants to go back, but it is not possible?) I can sense the male vibes always coming off her. 57 years old (now, in UK) I join a LESBIAN (Women only) friendship/chat site. I see lots of males and men who now ID as a woman on there, looking for dates and more. I ask Admin what is going on. Although they are strict ‘no men,’ they are OK with trans even if they do not have a GRC and gone through full op. I leave the group. 57 years old. I join a local ‘Older Lesbians Dating Group’, saying friendship only, also that I am 100% lesbian (and always have been) and only looking for similar friends. I am inundated with kinky sex offers, and Trans. I am called a bigot and a TERF on many Feminist groups as I stand up to the cotton ceiling and other nonsense… I am fed up and have joined a Rad Fem groups and follow Get the L out page! NB :There are many other instances where I have been approached by males when it is not wanted. I am always firm and say politely, no thanks, but some just do not listen/get it!