My intro to the radical queer community in began in 2012 (the year Overcoming The Cotton Ceiling happened) when a new friend explained how Lesbianism is a reductive/problematic orientation UNLESS I specify that I am also attracted/available to trans women. I later faced suspicion and interrogation from peers, who questioned why I only dated “female-bodied” people. I was eventually dropped by those peers despite us having no other personal qualms or issues. On first dates, I’ve been asked to explain why I identify as a lesbian and not queer. I have been explicitly asked whether I have dated trans women, or if I am only attracted to biological females. Declining to answer resulted in suspicion and/or hostility. I have been pursued, coerced, and groomed by a trans identified male who I thought was my friend, who I felt like I couldn’t say no to because it would make them think I was transphobic, when in reality I was just same-sex attracted. Women I know have had their profiles on lesbian dating apps banned for “transphobia” by simply specifying that they are only seeking dates/relationships with women. We are being asked to prove our social purity or else be ostracized our own community. This ideology developed within the queer community, and has groomed lesbians into violating our own boundaries for years. Now that we’ve all started waking up, talking to each other and raising consciousness, they insist “this never happens.” It happens.