Exposing Male Violence Against Lesbians

63. RetiredFemme 22/11/2021

I’m a Malaysian in her late 20s and a lesbian. The only LGBT community that we have in this country is one that consists of mostly “queers” and transgenders, from my experience. I was very active in that community as a fellow lesbian, as I was keen on meeting other similar minded gay people. One fine day, the topic of wlws [women-loving-women] dating trans women came up within our spaces. Not knowing what “terfs” even are at that point, I voiced out my thoughts honestly about the topic. My sentiment was that as a lesbian, female homosexual, I am only sexually attracted to other females, simple as. I was pegged as terfy and bigoted by bi women and other queers alike. I tried my best to respect everyone’s pronouns and whatnot but still received threats in my dms a lot for offending trans people over the pettiest shit. It was very cult-like to me as I’ve grown up in that environment (catholic and protestant) and immediately recognised these abusive behaviours. These people tired me out so much that I started conversing with people outside the community for the sake of my sanity. Eventually, I came across gender critical views and came to my senses when I read that so many women, particularly lesbians, had the exact same experience as me with trans and queer people. It’s not like I didn’t try being friends with them, I donated to trans men who needed funds for top surgery, respected everyone’s opinions and meet up with people from the community whenever I can to build rapport. Yet I was not allowed to have my own opinion without getting harassed and called a terf. All because I was a LESBIAN and followed some gender critical accounts on twitter. But thanks to them, I’ve spat out the koolaid and call them out for what they are, cultists. It’s such a shame they’ve imported misogynistic and homophobic western ideologies to spread to southeast asia. Another incident was when I was friends with a transwoman online. We were getting along alright and I genuinely wanted to befriend him because he lacked female friends and wanted tips to look more feminine. When we were discussing about coming over to my place he started pressuring me for sex every single time. When I dropped the idea because I was so uncomfortable he immediately sent me suicide threats over the rejection. He told me I was the same as every female friend who’d rejected him. He also pressured other women in our circle for sex and threw a fit every time we said no. He calls himself a “lesbian” and goes after other lesbians. I want to highlight that all this is happening in Malaysia, southeast asia. It is an extremely dire situation for lesbians here who already lack a proper community for themselves. Today they have to navigate and step on eggshells whenever they participate in the community.