I always felt an attraction towards females from a young age but i never had the language to describe it or express it till the age 14 when i became aware of something called homosexuality . A lot of males who knew i was same-sex attracted used it to get what they want from me. They would say i will bring you girls or ask me overly sexual things. I never knew how to put boundaries and protect myself. So i would do what they want so i can meet girls or answer to their questions. When i 15 i was raped by a man who was predatory jerk. And all of them were i will bring you girls but let's do sex or blowjob whatever. It's not been a long time since i realized that a lot of ppl provoked me to get what they want. Used my sexuality as weapon or bait against me