Exposing Male Violence Against Lesbians

76. Anonymous 25/02/2022

when i was around 16 in 2019, I had met an online friend - he was a couple months younger so he was 15. He was always funny, and dorky and goofy, but that slowly started to change overtime. After covid started he came out as “nonbinary” and chose names like “socks” and “cricket”. It was like he always wanted to debate and talk about annoying LGBT discourse subjects like gender and neopronouns. He became condescending, and weird at times, he called me a “bitch” for complaining about a friend. I realized he was pornsick. We were young so it was funny to send those cringy drawn Twitter porn pics to make fun of the crappy drawings- but then he started sending me ones being serious about how hot they were - most of which were drawings of lesbians or femdoms. He constantly talked in jokes about how obsessed he was over “MILFs”. In 2021 he said he was a “trans woman”. The milf jokes didnt stop, and the sexual comments and jokes didnt stop either — At this time I was already a radical feminist and I was too scared to share any feminist opinions I had with him, even if they werent trans related, for fear of being ‘cancelled’ as a terf. He was adamantly supportive of the porn industry and prostitution (how surprising…). Very shortly after he identified as a trans woman, he would not stop talking to me about wanting a lesbian girlfriend and “designer pussy”, he talked about getting plastic surgery on a regular basis, he talked about his sexual fantasies of being a lesbian frequently- I have a screenshot of him saying the reason he followed so many porn accounts is because he would think “that’ll be me some day”. And JUST when I was already fed up he started doing so to me. At first it was just emotional blackmail compliments like “ohh you’re so pretty I wish I wasn’t so ugly ill never be a real girl” When I started opening up about my feminist views he got more vigorous — The following quote is directly copied from a screenshot of his text message: “i cried so hard last night thinking about lesbian sex and also how pretty u r i just cant wait for my kitty” (kitty as in…you know what) I tried texting him less and less, i didnt have the guts to block him. The uncomfortable comments turned into rape fantasies. He told me he fantasized about “fixing TERFs” and “making them love girlcock”. I was so confused at the time that I didnt do anything, when he started hitting on me I did nothing. I couldn’t do anything, all of my friends wouldn’t believe me or would call me a “terf” for being negative to a precious trans woman, so I kept quiet. He admitted to me that he got off to pictures of me, and then cried afterwards because he hated his penis. On video calls he would ask to see the “girly products” i use, he would say predatory comments, talking about his rape fantasies —- and the last of it was when he asked me to be his girlfriend, when i refused he went into a rage, calling me slurs, and a terf, he told me to kill myself, he threatened to rape me, he sent pictures of his erection. He knew where I lived, and told me he was going to buy plane tickets and come act out what he told me. I was never so terrified in my life, I wish I had done something about it. He never did show up at my house, but he did send me pictures of him in a neighboring city. For the longest time I didnt think of this as a survivor story or anything because he never acted out on it, but I think now is the appropriate time to share.